On September 5th, around 4:00 pm, my little boy-cat, fourteen years old, made his journey to Avalon where the grass is soft and green and butterflies are everywhere just out of his kittenish reach … and he can talk with the Moon to his heart’s delight. 

Bam-Bam’s Jessee-Myne Rhuggie-Rhatt (Jessee) left this world as I held him in my arms and spoke of Avalon to him … of the always-green grass, the soft sunlight, and the clouds of beautiful butterflies for him to chase. 

That’s how I first saw him: as a tiny, feral kitten in my back yard, white with black spots and tail, a pink nose, and pink inside his ears – his little self pouncing after a butterfly as if he was dancing with it.  “Why, that’s my Jessimine!” I thought … and while he did turn out to be Jessee instead of Jessimine, he was mine … as I was his.  While I was away on a business trip, the lady who took care of my cats while I was gone opened the front door and, she said, Jessee darted in and never left.  She couldn’t catch him (“He was as fast as a little rug-rat,” she said) so by the time I returned a couple of days later, he was firmly ensconsed within my household.  And he never, ever, tried to get outside again.

Jessee liked to talk to the Full Moon.  I first discovered this when I was living with my brother, Danny, as he was dying of colon cancer.  One night I woke up to the sounds of Jessee sitting in the big picture window through which the full moon was shining so brightly … and he talked and talked and talked to Her.  Not his usual meows, but instead, short ung, unh, unhs that sounded as if he was telling her of thoughts and feelings.  There were many times thereafter that I caught him doing the same thing – always at a Full Moon, never at any other time.

Tommy, his snuggle pal, will miss him terribly.  He’s already taken over the chair that was Jessee’s. 

My home feels as if two cats are missing instead of one, so much is his presence missed.  But he is free now, no longer struggling to breathe, and he is at peace as he sips the honeyed milk and nibbles on fishy bits.  He will make friends with those who have gone before him: Esso, Oliver, and Sherman T Wilson Peabody III.

And I suspect he will also find, and befriend, a pair of lovely and delightful dogs who crossed over from Utah a short time ago.

Blessings to them all.

Journey

It’s that old question of “if a tree falls in the forest and no one is listening, does it make a sound?”  If no one visits Avalon, if no one takes the time, does it still exist?

And yes … it does.  Because it cannot be glued to a particular place.  It, instead, lives in our hearts and in our dreams.  Even if no one visits to drop a line.  Even if it is abandoned it will continue to exist, to – even – grow.

It is all of our dreams and desires … it is our hopes for tomorrow, for today.  It is where we go when we go within ourselves to listen, to wonder, to learn … to heal.

And the faeries will wait … the willows will still sweep the ground with their tendrils … and that little table set with scones and honey, and lavender tea will always be set.

This world is such a busy place … I cherish my times in Avalon.

Another crossroads, another decision made.  This organization-turned-bottom-line-corporation is – finally – too blatent for me to ignore any longer.  I must find a way out of this toxic jungle into the natural green that is.

But what do I want to do with the rest of my life?!!! 

Candle burning, incense smoldering, the answer comes.

And blood pressure is instantly lowered, shoulders soften, and the world is bright once more. 

Bright blessings … Journey

The Big Wait is over, the results are in:  I am still employed and will soon be relocating to the Louisville office, and the colonoscopy is over with wonderful results (no polyps and I don’t have to go back for another five years!),  And yes, the sun has finally worked its way through the clouds and has been shining some inspirational Spring-like weather these past few days.

I was TERRIFIED this time about the colonoscopy.  Don’t know why, really, unless it was just the culmination of all the uncertainty going on lately lowering my defenses and allowing old fears to surface.  Anyway, I’ve wondered in the past about the strength of my belief system … would I, should I face the posibility of immenent death, revert by habit to my old Christian training and threats of hellfire and plead for the grey whiskered angry god in the sky to save me?

As I laying there on my left side feeling the meds flowing into my veins, I, for the first time ever, did not know that I would awaken from the procedure.  And as I began to feel the effects of the medicine, I called out with my heart and mind, without question or hesitation, to Her, the Goddess, and released myself unto her care, whatever the outcome.  My answer.

I have been light ever since.  Ever since I awakened, I have felt a lightness beyond anything I’ve ever experienced.  A sense of right-ness, a lack of worrisome concern and frantic-ness over what I need to do, to accomplish, to validate my existence.  A newer, deeper, broader sense of freedom.

Thank you, my friends for your loving thoughts and positive energy … and thank you, again.

~Journey

PS:  Thanks, Ms Sublime, for the new look … it is Avalon!   ^-^

Listening to Loreena McKennitt’s latest, “the wind that shakes the barley,” and spending this moment with myself.  Escaping to Avalon, pausing to rest and regroup.  They meet today to decide my future in the work world.

I am of two minds: one that is “practical” and hopes to continue under the safe umbrella of group health insurance … the other that longs for severance that will allow me the freedoms I so long for: time on my hands to finish my unpacking and organizing and decorating, learning what my natural sleep/awake cycle is, to get outside instead of living a full 1/3 of my life behind a desk doing work I do not love.

I am at a crossroads … which way will I go?  I know which way I want to go, but would I have the courage to go that way without benefit of severance and unemployment?

I’ve worked so long, every single year but two since I was 14 … babysitting for money for books, clothes, magazines, and later, makeup … then to put my husband through college … to support him when he started his own business … and to support myself after the divorce.  I am tired and want my own time.

And so I sit here in Avalon and await the news.  Knowing what I want and wondering if I will ever have the courage to believe in myself.

~ Journey

When was the last time you let yourself truly experience the stillness of winter?  In the cold, under the snow, new life is formed.  Follow Nature’s example into willing stillness.   It is the cocoon that creates new wings for flight.

When was the last time you kissed a frog?  Beauty is often hidden.  Look carefully.  Look deep.  Look at the eyes of Soul, and life’s frogs turn into princes.

When was the last time you kidnapped a myth?  Enchantment often lives in the unseen, but unseen does not mean unreal.  We breathe oxygen every day but never see it.  Look at the world with your inner eye.  Magic lives at the edges of your vision, waiting to be noticed.

When was the last time you paused to ponder?  Reverie and daydreams are the waters that keep the soul fluid and moving.  Franz Kafka once said, “Be quite still and solitary.  The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked.  I has no choice.  It will roll in ecstasy at your feet.”

submitted by Journey

tolerance news flash …

We are all different.

And that’s a good thing.

Enough with the hate rhetoric already.  Enough with people shouting and screaming at each other simply because – we are all different.  Enough with the absurd allegations and gunfire – literally and verbally.

I think most of us can agree that extremism on any level is frightening and usually a sign that something’s not quite right upstairs.  Call me a dreamer but I can’t help but think that if we all cared about each other, no matter what the other person thinks or believes, a bit more, the world just might be lighter and sweeter.  Let me be totally honest here.  Here’s my example – I think Sarah Palin needs to stay home, spearfish, drink beer and take an English class.  But some people think she’s the Great Hope of America.  That frightens me, but it’s okay for other people to like her.  Just don’t jam her down my throat – but hey – good for you ya!

See how easy that is?

We all need to take a chill pill.  Watch out for the guy next door.  If you see him sitting on the roof and talking to invisible people – give his sister or wife or mom a call.  Take those damn ear plugs out of your head for ten minutes and listen to the world around you.  Someone might need a little help.  It might even be you.  Be open.  Be gentle.  Be patient.  And if this is all too hard for you – maybe go on a retreat someplace quiet and think about what’s REALLY important.  I can assure you it isn’t yelling, pointing fingers, and thinking everyone but you is wrong.

Lighten up people.  Smile.  Laugh, go look up the word compassion in the dictionary – the dictionary by the way isn’t just in your computer, it’s a grand, thick book filled with words people in Alaska have never heard.

You are not going to believe how easy it is to swallow a kindness chill pill.

submitted by Journey from Kris’s Column by Kris Radish

IN WHICH I DO NOT DO RESOLUTIONS

I don’t make New Year’s resolutions.  Do you?  I find them tedious, particularly the lists in magazines.  They seem so finger-waggingly judgemental.  They tell us we’re not good enough just as we are and we have to do better right this minute.  They are also alarmingly specific.  We have to do thirty minutes of cardio four days a week.  We have to lose 15 pounds.  We have to write six pages in our journals every morning and take a new photo every single day.  We have to — oh, God, I just lost the energy to even think them up.  THAT is how dull they are.

What if instead of resolutions, we simply took inventory?  What if we peeked into the rooms that make us up — heart, mind, body, spirit — and took a good look at the furnishings?  We could note places where the slipcovers have gotten a bit shabby or where the air is a bit stale and needs some freshening.  We could ponder which rooms need a good clearing out and which ones could do with just a quick coat of paint.  We could give ourselves credit for all the good work we’ve already done and figure out the places where a tweak here or there could make an improvement.  I don’t know about you, but when I’m cleaning out a drawer or even an entire room, I don’t judge or criticize or harass myself.  I am too focused on how wonderful it feels to throw out what I don’t need, to put things aside for donations, to let go of what once worked but no longer suits me.  I imagine how much space I’m going to gain or how much someone else might enjoy what I no longer find useful.  I open up room for something new to come in.

So that’s what I’ll be doing with this bright shiny new year.  I will clear out a few old ideas — and even a few actual drawers — and make some breathing room for new possibilities.  What about you?

submitted by Journey, who also recommends Deanna’s wonderful books!

Solstice = Standing-Still-Sun

At the Winter Solstice, we enter the belly of the night  …. we come to the portal that separates darkness from light.  Standing in this arch of time where Earth takes a breath before facing us back towards the sun, we too, take a breath, turn inward, pause in this pregnant moment and let darkness reveal its gifts:

Winter Solstice:  A time to look back at the year gone by, gather its lessons and put them in the stew of your life …. to let the heat of your presence cook the stew …. render the lessons into the sweet nectar of wisdom … then drink of it, one-small-sip-at-a-time.

Winter Solstice:  A time to let the longest night seduce you into stillness … to silence inner voices, listen to the beating of your own heart … to breathe slowly, become the breath … linger here … the night is long.

Winter Solstice:  A time to savor the sweetness of the dark.  Nothing to fear.  It’s only you.  And millions of years of Earth’s turning; away and then back, away and then back towards the light.  It’s all you.  The dark, the light, the fire, the night: it’s all you.  You’re all it.  Sweet oneness, savored in the dark.

Winter Solstice:  A sacred link, where Earth’s veil thins, the unseen, seen.  Images of ancestors and ancient roots threading back beyond time.  Back to first humans, their fires still burning to call back the light.  We are the ones who hold them sacred.  We honor their struggles, their triumphs.  We’re here due to them.  They gave us our blood.

Winter Solstice:  A time to reflect on your life in this moment.  Like never before, or ever again, reflect on this sweet, fragile moment.

Winter Solstice:  A time to let go of what burdens.  Empty out stones sitting heavy in the heart.  Let bygones be bygones.  Acknowledge.  Forgive.  Begin again.

Winter Solstice:  A fertile time, a time to ready the womb; a time for pregnant possibility.  A time to sow seeds of imagination, to germinate in the darkness.  A time to tend the inner hearth; be warmed by the coals of creativity.

Winter Solstice:  The union of opposites.  Fullness; emptying.  Emptiness; filling.  The shortest day meets the longest night.  Celebrate the dark.  Greet the light.  We’ve journeyed long; we’ve journeyed far.  In summer, we rejoiced in the sun, now absent.  In winter, we settle into the night, now present.  We draw inward, tuck in our wings to keep warm.  All flights cancelled.

Winter Solstice:  A time to check inner weather and road conditions.  Are you cold?  Are you hot?  Are you merely lukewarm?  Is it stormy?  Is it balmy?  Are there blue skies inside?  Does the road rise to meet you?  Are you on shakey ground?  Is it smooth?  Is it rocky?  Can you see where you are?

Winter Solstice:  Can you be with it all, just as it is?  No fighting, no trying, no pushing the river.  It flows by itself, so you watch it.  You notice.  You see twigs and branches submerged in the stream of your life.  Without effort, the water flows over, under and around it all.  Nothing can stop it; it goes on forever.  Like you do.  Like I do.  Like we do.

May you go on forever, like this most pregnant night of the year.

By Dr. Judith Rich

Journey

The pause of the Winter Solstice is a time of quiet emptiness …. the brief resting point after a long exhale, the dark suspended turn at the bottom of the lungs before air rushes in to fill the void once more.

… Rather than setting goals in a traditional fashion, listen … in the stillness … for the pulse that is moving … for the call beckoning … let the shape of words form in heart, knowing they will define direction for the next year.

The Winter Solstice is Nature’s most fertile womb-time.

In a brief opening of tremendous receptivity, Nature invites us to plant our conscious seeds of heart-intention into Her creative Matrix.  When we conspire with Her rhythms, the possibilities for manifestation can be remarkable.

Wherever you are, alone or with friends … create some sacred space around the time of the Winter Solstice … drop into the meditative stillness that connects you with the pulse of Nature.  In the womb of silence, open to let your body-soul offer you a clear image or simple phrase about what you need to be aware of at this pivotal time.  Let your intention slowly shape within your heart as authentic, sprontaneous wisdom rather than will-directed desire.  Hold this intention gently, without prejudice, and feel yourself held within the fertile womb of Nature.  In this quiet time, your desire and intention will merge with the pulse of the Great Mother.  Record your experience and remember it throughout the months as your new life begins to emerge in perfect tempo with the spring …

by Ravenessences

Journey